Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Due Date
Today is my due date for Mr. Clay. Hard to believe 40 weeks have come and gone this year. I'm so thankful to be holding him in my arms today instead of in my belly. Feeling so blessed to have another happy and healthy little boy. I still want to write about his birth story, but I will have to wait until a day that Cole is at daycare...we are a little busy around here today!
Friday, September 20, 2013
Clay Michael
Clay Michael was born on September 17. He is perfect in every way. We couldn't be more blessed to have two healthy boys. I will update more later about his birth, but for now I'll leave you with some pictures.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
People Are Crazy!
I was doing some reading online the other night and I came across this article:
http://fox8.com/2013/09/04/parents-angry-regretful-over-twins/
It made me angry on so many levels. I won't even pretend to act like I can understand why these people would have feelings like this after paying money to get pregnant. When we first started trying to have a family and found out that it was going to be a much harder journey than we thought, some of my first feelings were of resentment to people around me who could get pregnant easily and seemed to take that for granted. We also had people around us who were already parents and in my mind were not good parents-- didn't give their children the attention they needed, wouldn't sign their kids up for activities b/c it interrupted their own schedule, constantly yelled at their kids, etc. It was a hard pill to swallow that I felt that Matt and I would be great parents and really strive to give our kids a very well rounded life-- and here we were not even being given the chance.
When I read this article I was thinking why would anyone go through the pain and misery of IVF if you didn't REALLY want to have the child that comes from the process? The article said they "were angry" about getting pregnant with twins. In my mind they have no right to be angry. It's not like their doctor just transferred a random number of embryos and was like good luck. I have been through this process 3 times...and guess what, not one time was the decision of how many embryos to transfer left to my doctor. It was a discussion that Matt, my doctor, and I sat down and had. The doctor would of course advise on what his thoughts were, but the ultimate decision came down to Matt & I. I don't think anyone should feel sorry for this couple. If they really truly knew that they would only be happy with one child and no more, then they should have only transferred ONE embryo at a time. Yes, your odds of it sticking are lower than if you transfer two, but come on people. Don't transfer two and then think you have a right to complain when they both stick. I wonder if they know how many people are out in this world struggling to have just one child, let alone multiple children. I guarantee people would give their right arm to be so blessed as to have twins when going through IVF.
I really feel so sorry for all three of the couple's children. I'm sure the 3 year old brother will grow up learning how to resent the twins for ruining all of the family fun. And to be referred to as the "free one" has to eventually take an emotional toll too, right? If she had such a hard pregnancy the first time around maybe she should have prepared a little bit more emotionally before she made a decision to become pregnant again. Sounds like she is making excuses rather than owning her decisions. I can't even believe that the husband made a comparison to waiting for the arrival of the twins to a cancer patient with only months to live. I have no words to describe how wrong this statement is. What a slap in the face to people who actually only have months or less to live...and worse yet, what about the younger people who desperately want to have a family who have been diagnosed with cancer and are staring death in the face...all the while knowing that they will NEVER have children. So wrong.
And I just want to tell them to "get over it" about the no sleep. Regardless if you have one baby or two, you don't get much sleep. Oh, and get this...they wonder how will they ever afford 2 other children? Really? That's not something that was thought about BEFORE they paid money for IVF procedures? I can just imagine that conversation: "Hey yeah, lets pay $20,000-30,000 to maybe have a chance at having 2 kids, but we'll figure out later if we can actually afford more kids." I know that you can't always wait until you can afford kids before you decide to have them...bc you will never truly be able to afford kids and if you wait you'll never have them. But lets talk about responsibility. You have one kid, you don't think you can afford two more, so why then transfer TWO embryos? Why even do the IVF procedure at all? And also, did you catch they live in a one bedroom apartment? Even if they would have only gotten pregnant with one kid, do you really think a one bedroom apartment is a great space for 4 people?
Anyway, I digress. Obviously this struck a nerve with me :) And as you know, I'm not shy on offering up my opinion. The good thing for me is that people like this used to really keep me in a dark place. However, through everything we've been through I have learned so much. I have learned that I can be upset about parents like this, but I can't dwell on it. There will always be people like this in the world. I will gripe about them briefly and then move on with my life. I know that you may think I can do this easily b/c I have kids now. But that's not the case. I actually learned this lesson in the time period between starting infertility treatments in 2009 and when I got pregnant with Cole. I knew that I could not let people like this drag me down and stay negative. I'm thankful for the perspective I've been able to gain in unfortunate circumstances. I guess that is what makes it "life"...it's not always fair...it's not always sunny...and it's not always beautiful. But things like this really help to make me thankful for the blessings in my life and the heavy lessons that I've been able to learn.
http://fox8.com/2013/09/04/parents-angry-regretful-over-twins/
It made me angry on so many levels. I won't even pretend to act like I can understand why these people would have feelings like this after paying money to get pregnant. When we first started trying to have a family and found out that it was going to be a much harder journey than we thought, some of my first feelings were of resentment to people around me who could get pregnant easily and seemed to take that for granted. We also had people around us who were already parents and in my mind were not good parents-- didn't give their children the attention they needed, wouldn't sign their kids up for activities b/c it interrupted their own schedule, constantly yelled at their kids, etc. It was a hard pill to swallow that I felt that Matt and I would be great parents and really strive to give our kids a very well rounded life-- and here we were not even being given the chance.
When I read this article I was thinking why would anyone go through the pain and misery of IVF if you didn't REALLY want to have the child that comes from the process? The article said they "were angry" about getting pregnant with twins. In my mind they have no right to be angry. It's not like their doctor just transferred a random number of embryos and was like good luck. I have been through this process 3 times...and guess what, not one time was the decision of how many embryos to transfer left to my doctor. It was a discussion that Matt, my doctor, and I sat down and had. The doctor would of course advise on what his thoughts were, but the ultimate decision came down to Matt & I. I don't think anyone should feel sorry for this couple. If they really truly knew that they would only be happy with one child and no more, then they should have only transferred ONE embryo at a time. Yes, your odds of it sticking are lower than if you transfer two, but come on people. Don't transfer two and then think you have a right to complain when they both stick. I wonder if they know how many people are out in this world struggling to have just one child, let alone multiple children. I guarantee people would give their right arm to be so blessed as to have twins when going through IVF.
I really feel so sorry for all three of the couple's children. I'm sure the 3 year old brother will grow up learning how to resent the twins for ruining all of the family fun. And to be referred to as the "free one" has to eventually take an emotional toll too, right? If she had such a hard pregnancy the first time around maybe she should have prepared a little bit more emotionally before she made a decision to become pregnant again. Sounds like she is making excuses rather than owning her decisions. I can't even believe that the husband made a comparison to waiting for the arrival of the twins to a cancer patient with only months to live. I have no words to describe how wrong this statement is. What a slap in the face to people who actually only have months or less to live...and worse yet, what about the younger people who desperately want to have a family who have been diagnosed with cancer and are staring death in the face...all the while knowing that they will NEVER have children. So wrong.
And I just want to tell them to "get over it" about the no sleep. Regardless if you have one baby or two, you don't get much sleep. Oh, and get this...they wonder how will they ever afford 2 other children? Really? That's not something that was thought about BEFORE they paid money for IVF procedures? I can just imagine that conversation: "Hey yeah, lets pay $20,000-30,000 to maybe have a chance at having 2 kids, but we'll figure out later if we can actually afford more kids." I know that you can't always wait until you can afford kids before you decide to have them...bc you will never truly be able to afford kids and if you wait you'll never have them. But lets talk about responsibility. You have one kid, you don't think you can afford two more, so why then transfer TWO embryos? Why even do the IVF procedure at all? And also, did you catch they live in a one bedroom apartment? Even if they would have only gotten pregnant with one kid, do you really think a one bedroom apartment is a great space for 4 people?
Anyway, I digress. Obviously this struck a nerve with me :) And as you know, I'm not shy on offering up my opinion. The good thing for me is that people like this used to really keep me in a dark place. However, through everything we've been through I have learned so much. I have learned that I can be upset about parents like this, but I can't dwell on it. There will always be people like this in the world. I will gripe about them briefly and then move on with my life. I know that you may think I can do this easily b/c I have kids now. But that's not the case. I actually learned this lesson in the time period between starting infertility treatments in 2009 and when I got pregnant with Cole. I knew that I could not let people like this drag me down and stay negative. I'm thankful for the perspective I've been able to gain in unfortunate circumstances. I guess that is what makes it "life"...it's not always fair...it's not always sunny...and it's not always beautiful. But things like this really help to make me thankful for the blessings in my life and the heavy lessons that I've been able to learn.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Stitch is OUT
Ok folks, the stitch is out. I'll spare you the picture I took of the thing :) Yeah, I took a picture. I had to document it all...and I took a picture when I had my cerclage removed for Cole. Once again it's amazing to me how something like that could hold a baby in there.
Now baby watch can officially begin. I can't even believe I made it to 37 weeks already. The time has gone fast...and I hope it continues to go fast until we meet this sweet little baby. I'm ready to be a mom of two crazy boys! Hopefully you will be seeing an update from me soon. My doctor said he would not let me go past 39 weeks just to be on the safe side of things. So we are down to two weeks or less!
Now baby watch can officially begin. I can't even believe I made it to 37 weeks already. The time has gone fast...and I hope it continues to go fast until we meet this sweet little baby. I'm ready to be a mom of two crazy boys! Hopefully you will be seeing an update from me soon. My doctor said he would not let me go past 39 weeks just to be on the safe side of things. So we are down to two weeks or less!
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