Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Project Kardia
My good friend, Maegan, started a project recently called Project Kardia. The goal is to make and donate blankets to children undergoing heart surgeries. Maegan has been a heart warrior herself--three times now. She is paying her good fortune forward to others going through similar struggles. I admire her ambition with this project as well as her fight for her health! She's one awesome lady.
I made a few blankets today to donate. I am not a great seamstress by any means, but they were made with love and I hope they will fulfill their purpose of making some special kids know that they are cared about.
If you are interested in helping let me know! Also, you can check out her Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/ProjectKardia
I made a few blankets today to donate. I am not a great seamstress by any means, but they were made with love and I hope they will fulfill their purpose of making some special kids know that they are cared about.
If you are interested in helping let me know! Also, you can check out her Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/ProjectKardia
 |
| I donated this one in memory of Camron Houchens. He is the son of one of my good high school friends who fought against CHD and sadly passed away. But his memory lives on! |
Monday, April 8, 2013
We Are Pregnant!?!?!?!
So I have been promising to write about how we found out we were expecting again. I am finally getting around to it :)
It's funny how with Braelyn & Cole we had everything timed down to the minute. I had a calendar with each IVF cycle that was so crammed full of information and dates and times and doses of medication that you quite literally could not fit another thing on the page. I am such a planner, so aside from all of the emotional ups and downs that come along with IVF, having such a calendar was great for me. I knew exactly when to expect a phone call from my RE's office telling me if I was pregnant or not. I never took any home pregnancy tests when I was doing IVF because with the medications you take, you can get a false positive and I just couldn't set myself up to be disappointed any more than I knew I already could potentially be. I remember the phone call that told me I was pregnant with Braelyn and the one I got for Cole. I can tell you where I was standing when I heard the news, who told me the news, and the feeling of pure shock-- holy cow, we are really going to be parents!
Fast forward now to this baby...
Back in January I wrote a post about how we wanted to have more kids but we just were not sure if we would be able to. Our health insurance changed at the beginning of the year, which meant no more infertility coverage. We didn't want to spend all of our savings on doing IVF again because we wanted to be able to provide for Cole. We didn't really want to adopt at this point in time. We felt kind of stuck. Don't get me wrong, being a family of 3 has been completely awesome. Especially when you consider the fact that we are SO blessed to even have Cole. Well anyway, after I wrote that post, Matt and I had a brutally honest conversation. We decided that we were not going to go through infertility treatments again. We decided that we were a happy and healthy family of 3 and that's how it was going to stay. And to be honest with you all, I felt a lot of pressure come off of my shoulders that has been there for the last 4 years. I no longer would have to worry about needle pricks, medications, financial stress, and crazy emotions. After we talked I immediately felt happy and at peace with the decision we made. I knew the decision was made together, and that Matt didn't feel one way and me another. We were united in our decision and that is what sealed the deal for me. No more worrying about having a baby!!
Little did we know that when I posted that entry on my blog, and then a few days later when we had our chat, I was actually already pregnant. Isn't God funny? Took me 4 years to come to terms with being done with all of the stress and then BAM, not what God had in mind for our family.
Starting the week of January 7, I was feeling a bit off. I can't even explain what made me feel like something was different because I didn't have any major symptoms. I just felt different. I didn't really pay too much attention to this feeling. And because I was so busy it was easy to push it aside. I do recall jokingly saying to Matt that maybe I was pregnant and I should take a home pregnancy test. We both got a good laugh at that and moved on with our day.
Then the week of January 14, I came home from busy days at work and played with/cared for Cole for a few hours each evening and once he went to bed I was immediately falling asleep on the couch. For those who know me well, you know that I am an early to bed kind of person so it wasn't entirely out of character for me...but 8:00 was pretty early! I would sit down on the couch for a few minutes, and wake up 3 hours later from Matt telling me to go upstairs to bed. After about 3 nights in a row of this I realized that I really could be pregnant. My main symptom with Braelyn and Cole was just being so tired I could barely function. Then again, work and my home life were busy too...so I thought maybe it was just my body's way of telling me to slow down. I kind of shrugged off the pregnancy thought again.
On January 17, I decided in my mind that I was probably crazy for thinking that I could be pregnant without medical intervention, but that if I was for some reason then I needed to know. I needed to know for many reasons. One reason is because I would need to be on medication to prevent an early miscarriage. Two is because I would need to get a cerclage again at 9 weeks. And third, I just needed to ensure I was getting prompt prenatal care. So once Matt went to work that morning I pulled out a home pregnancy test that I had purchased a while back, but never used. I peed on the stick and about 30 seconds after it was showing two bright lines. I had to read the box about 30 times to make myself realize that two lines means pregnant!!! I kept talking myself out of it and saying it was a fluke and a mistake. I had one more test in the box. I waited about an hour and then tried the second one. Same thing! What the heck!?!?! There was no way I could believe it.
I called my doctor's office immediately after taking the second test. I remember my hands were shaking as I dialed the phone. When the nurse answered and I told her my thoughts she was ecstatic! Since I've had a high risk pregnancy, the entire office knows us by name. They told me to book it down to their office as soon as possible b/c they wanted to see me to also confirm the news. I was there in about 15 minutes. All this time, Matt was at work and had no idea what was going on. I couldn't break the news to him without being 100% sure. Once I was at the doctors office they did another test, which also came back positive...even after seeing the 3rd one I still was skeptical. Then they took a blood test. And next we did a sonogram to see how far along I was. I was nervous about the sonogram because I so badly wanted to see something growing in there, but I just couldn't get it out of my mind that this was all some sick joke. They did the scan and there it was. A perfect little blob on the screen...measuring at 4 weeks. I just could not believe it. But from that moment on I could not wipe the smile off of my face!
I went home after my appointment and Matt was coming home for lunch. I forgot to mention to you all that we had plans to go on vacation to North Carolina in early September to visit Matt's dad and step-mom. We already booked our place to stay and had begun saving up our money for the trip. This year's trip would be really fun because Cole would love the water and sand even more than he did last year. We were really looking forward to it and talked about it at least once a week. Once Matt came in the door he said hi and started to make his lunch. I asked him if he would be upset if we had to cancel our vacation in September. He gave me a weird look and said why would we cancel our plans? So I told him that instead of vacation in September we were going to have a baby! He had the same look of shock on his face that I had on mine earlier in the day. But it quickly turned into a huge smile. He said that was so awesome and that would be a great reason to not go on vacation! The entire rest of the day we kept sending each other IM's at work saying "can you believe this is real?".
I still can't believe this is real some days. I'm 16 weeks along tomorrow and I still smile every time I think about what a surprise this was. I'll be forever grateful to know what it's like to pee on a stick and find out by SURPRISE I am pregnant. I never thought in a million years I would get to have this experience. I absolutely cannot wait to become a family of 4! I love this little tiny bean as much as I love my Cole Man and Braelyn. I'm very excited to see what the future holds for all of us.
We will find out in 2 weeks if we are having a boy or a girl. I don't care one way or the other. A boy would be awesome since Cole would have a built in best buddy! Two boys so close in age makes me smile every time I think about it. And I just love Cole and his boyish attitude so much that I can absolutely picture having another one of him! Then again, a girl would be great too. I know that I have a daughter, but it would be fun to have one here on Earth with me. I have such an awesome relationship with my mom and I want that with a daughter of my own. God already knows whether a boy or a girl is in store for our family and what the perfect fit is. This entire pregnancy I felt like it was going to be a girl, but then the very early sono prediction was looking like maybe it would be a boy. Who knows. But, I can't wait to find out who will be joining our family. I'll definitely keep you updated once we find out. Then the fun part of trying to agree on a name will start...ugh!
Thanks for all of the love and support you give to us. This journey is not quite over yet, but so far we are praising God for getting me to 16 weeks without any complications. The next 12 weeks will be a true test, but I know that I'm up for the challenge and that God will see us through. September is just around the corner!
It's funny how with Braelyn & Cole we had everything timed down to the minute. I had a calendar with each IVF cycle that was so crammed full of information and dates and times and doses of medication that you quite literally could not fit another thing on the page. I am such a planner, so aside from all of the emotional ups and downs that come along with IVF, having such a calendar was great for me. I knew exactly when to expect a phone call from my RE's office telling me if I was pregnant or not. I never took any home pregnancy tests when I was doing IVF because with the medications you take, you can get a false positive and I just couldn't set myself up to be disappointed any more than I knew I already could potentially be. I remember the phone call that told me I was pregnant with Braelyn and the one I got for Cole. I can tell you where I was standing when I heard the news, who told me the news, and the feeling of pure shock-- holy cow, we are really going to be parents!
Fast forward now to this baby...
Back in January I wrote a post about how we wanted to have more kids but we just were not sure if we would be able to. Our health insurance changed at the beginning of the year, which meant no more infertility coverage. We didn't want to spend all of our savings on doing IVF again because we wanted to be able to provide for Cole. We didn't really want to adopt at this point in time. We felt kind of stuck. Don't get me wrong, being a family of 3 has been completely awesome. Especially when you consider the fact that we are SO blessed to even have Cole. Well anyway, after I wrote that post, Matt and I had a brutally honest conversation. We decided that we were not going to go through infertility treatments again. We decided that we were a happy and healthy family of 3 and that's how it was going to stay. And to be honest with you all, I felt a lot of pressure come off of my shoulders that has been there for the last 4 years. I no longer would have to worry about needle pricks, medications, financial stress, and crazy emotions. After we talked I immediately felt happy and at peace with the decision we made. I knew the decision was made together, and that Matt didn't feel one way and me another. We were united in our decision and that is what sealed the deal for me. No more worrying about having a baby!!
Little did we know that when I posted that entry on my blog, and then a few days later when we had our chat, I was actually already pregnant. Isn't God funny? Took me 4 years to come to terms with being done with all of the stress and then BAM, not what God had in mind for our family.
Starting the week of January 7, I was feeling a bit off. I can't even explain what made me feel like something was different because I didn't have any major symptoms. I just felt different. I didn't really pay too much attention to this feeling. And because I was so busy it was easy to push it aside. I do recall jokingly saying to Matt that maybe I was pregnant and I should take a home pregnancy test. We both got a good laugh at that and moved on with our day.
Then the week of January 14, I came home from busy days at work and played with/cared for Cole for a few hours each evening and once he went to bed I was immediately falling asleep on the couch. For those who know me well, you know that I am an early to bed kind of person so it wasn't entirely out of character for me...but 8:00 was pretty early! I would sit down on the couch for a few minutes, and wake up 3 hours later from Matt telling me to go upstairs to bed. After about 3 nights in a row of this I realized that I really could be pregnant. My main symptom with Braelyn and Cole was just being so tired I could barely function. Then again, work and my home life were busy too...so I thought maybe it was just my body's way of telling me to slow down. I kind of shrugged off the pregnancy thought again.
On January 17, I decided in my mind that I was probably crazy for thinking that I could be pregnant without medical intervention, but that if I was for some reason then I needed to know. I needed to know for many reasons. One reason is because I would need to be on medication to prevent an early miscarriage. Two is because I would need to get a cerclage again at 9 weeks. And third, I just needed to ensure I was getting prompt prenatal care. So once Matt went to work that morning I pulled out a home pregnancy test that I had purchased a while back, but never used. I peed on the stick and about 30 seconds after it was showing two bright lines. I had to read the box about 30 times to make myself realize that two lines means pregnant!!! I kept talking myself out of it and saying it was a fluke and a mistake. I had one more test in the box. I waited about an hour and then tried the second one. Same thing! What the heck!?!?! There was no way I could believe it.
I called my doctor's office immediately after taking the second test. I remember my hands were shaking as I dialed the phone. When the nurse answered and I told her my thoughts she was ecstatic! Since I've had a high risk pregnancy, the entire office knows us by name. They told me to book it down to their office as soon as possible b/c they wanted to see me to also confirm the news. I was there in about 15 minutes. All this time, Matt was at work and had no idea what was going on. I couldn't break the news to him without being 100% sure. Once I was at the doctors office they did another test, which also came back positive...even after seeing the 3rd one I still was skeptical. Then they took a blood test. And next we did a sonogram to see how far along I was. I was nervous about the sonogram because I so badly wanted to see something growing in there, but I just couldn't get it out of my mind that this was all some sick joke. They did the scan and there it was. A perfect little blob on the screen...measuring at 4 weeks. I just could not believe it. But from that moment on I could not wipe the smile off of my face!
I went home after my appointment and Matt was coming home for lunch. I forgot to mention to you all that we had plans to go on vacation to North Carolina in early September to visit Matt's dad and step-mom. We already booked our place to stay and had begun saving up our money for the trip. This year's trip would be really fun because Cole would love the water and sand even more than he did last year. We were really looking forward to it and talked about it at least once a week. Once Matt came in the door he said hi and started to make his lunch. I asked him if he would be upset if we had to cancel our vacation in September. He gave me a weird look and said why would we cancel our plans? So I told him that instead of vacation in September we were going to have a baby! He had the same look of shock on his face that I had on mine earlier in the day. But it quickly turned into a huge smile. He said that was so awesome and that would be a great reason to not go on vacation! The entire rest of the day we kept sending each other IM's at work saying "can you believe this is real?".
I still can't believe this is real some days. I'm 16 weeks along tomorrow and I still smile every time I think about what a surprise this was. I'll be forever grateful to know what it's like to pee on a stick and find out by SURPRISE I am pregnant. I never thought in a million years I would get to have this experience. I absolutely cannot wait to become a family of 4! I love this little tiny bean as much as I love my Cole Man and Braelyn. I'm very excited to see what the future holds for all of us.
We will find out in 2 weeks if we are having a boy or a girl. I don't care one way or the other. A boy would be awesome since Cole would have a built in best buddy! Two boys so close in age makes me smile every time I think about it. And I just love Cole and his boyish attitude so much that I can absolutely picture having another one of him! Then again, a girl would be great too. I know that I have a daughter, but it would be fun to have one here on Earth with me. I have such an awesome relationship with my mom and I want that with a daughter of my own. God already knows whether a boy or a girl is in store for our family and what the perfect fit is. This entire pregnancy I felt like it was going to be a girl, but then the very early sono prediction was looking like maybe it would be a boy. Who knows. But, I can't wait to find out who will be joining our family. I'll definitely keep you updated once we find out. Then the fun part of trying to agree on a name will start...ugh!
Thanks for all of the love and support you give to us. This journey is not quite over yet, but so far we are praising God for getting me to 16 weeks without any complications. The next 12 weeks will be a true test, but I know that I'm up for the challenge and that God will see us through. September is just around the corner!
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