Anxiety is an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it.
Tomorrow will mark the start of week 19 of my pregnancy. I'm almost half way there (well in my case I am probably over half way there...but still hoping that he is near full term)! Lately I have had a ton of anxiety. Last time I was pregnant I was completely oblivious to anything bad that could happen. This time...I am fully aware of everything that can go wrong.
Isn't it funny how when you want the time to pass quickly, it moves in slow motion. But when you want time to slow down it moves at warp speed? I feel like i'm currently living in slow motion. I need to first make it to 24 weeks as that is when a baby is viable outside of the womb. Then I need to make it to 28 weeks as the baby will have about a 90-95% chance of surviving. Seems so far away.
I like the saying "If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." I'm trying to keep in mind that God knows my plan better than I ever will. Whatever is meant to happen is already planned out...I just need to remember that whatever comes my way I can handle.
I know I am under the best care possible and I am doing everything in my power to take it easy (which is hard for me). I just need to try and relax and not think about the negatives. I feel that God gave us this baby for a reason, and I need to enjoy each minute I have with him!
Starting this week we will be going to the doctor once a week to make sure everything is working the way it should. I think that will give me a bit more peace of mind. I have been feeling the baby move quite a bit, and that is also reassuring. I can't wait until I start feeling him more and more.
This post is all over the place. Just thought I might feel better if I put something down on "paper" about my anxiety. I am generally not a worrier, so being in a position where I'm feeling anxious all of the time definitely stresses me out. But I know somehow I'll make it to the place that I need to be. My family and friends have been a great support to me. And I know that is something I will continue to need...
Now let's hope Wednesday comes fast so I can see my little baby squirt again and make sure everything is okay! :o)
Your anxiety is very understandable.....you have been through something traumatic that many of us have not experienced. I will do anything I can to help these next weeks go by quickly for you. Wednesday is almost here! love you lots!
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