Ann, this comparison photo is for you...good suggestion! :)
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| Click on this photo and it'll display larger |
Monday, May 21, 2012
Cole is 5 Months Old!
Today my little guy is 5 months old. I know I say it every month, but it's so hard to believe! He has just been changing in front of our eyes the last month or so. He can roll over both ways. He loves his feet, now that he has found them. And he's just so smiley and bubbly all the time! I love his little personality, even when his strong-willed side comes out! I can't remember my life before him, and I can't picture the rest of my days on Earth without him. I love you CC!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mother's Day 2012
This Mother's Day was really special to me. It is the first year I have a baby in my ARMS to hug and cuddle. The last few Mother's Days have been bittersweet. Mother's Day 2010, I got a call that morning from our embryologist saying that we had two embryos that had fertilized and were waiting for us to finish our IVF cycle. One of those embryos was Braelyn. Then Mother's Day 2011, Braelyn wasn't here to celebrate with us that I was a mom, but I was pregnant with Cole. Fast forward to Mother's Day 2012 and I finally have a baby who is happy and healthy here with me.
Matt made the day really special for me. Cole actually slept in (for the first time ever...) until 8 a.m. So we had a later start to our day than usual. We went to breakfast at Flattop and it was so good. I definitely over ate! We had a couple of errands to run, but I loved every minute of the mundane weekend tasks that we were doing because I had Cole in my arms the entire time. I refused to push him in the stroller or carry him in his seat because I wanted to be with him as much as possible all day. He is getting to be a heavy little booger though, my back was hurting by the time we were done at the grocery store :o)
We came home for a bit to try and get Cole to nap. He wasn't wanting to nap alone, so I gave in and took one with him. It felt great to snuggle and hear him breathing next to me. When we woke up, Matt said he wanted to take us out to Lake Evergreen for a picnic dinner. Lake Evergreen is special to us because it is where we held Braelyn's funeral. We like to go out there on special occasions to make it feel like Braelyn is a part of what we are celebrating. And yesterday, she was a very important part because she is the one who first made me a mama. This was Cole's first time out to our special spot at the lake too. He smiled and laughed the whole time! It was perfect.
I am so lucky to have Cole! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for him. I feel so blessed to have had the experience with Braelyn because I know for a fact that I appreciate Cole even more than ever. Yesterday it was fun to be celebrated as a mom, but to me, every day is Mother's Day because I LOVE taking care of Cole.
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| First time seeing Braelyn |
Matt made the day really special for me. Cole actually slept in (for the first time ever...) until 8 a.m. So we had a later start to our day than usual. We went to breakfast at Flattop and it was so good. I definitely over ate! We had a couple of errands to run, but I loved every minute of the mundane weekend tasks that we were doing because I had Cole in my arms the entire time. I refused to push him in the stroller or carry him in his seat because I wanted to be with him as much as possible all day. He is getting to be a heavy little booger though, my back was hurting by the time we were done at the grocery store :o)
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| I love this boy so much! |
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| Giving mom some smiles |
We came home for a bit to try and get Cole to nap. He wasn't wanting to nap alone, so I gave in and took one with him. It felt great to snuggle and hear him breathing next to me. When we woke up, Matt said he wanted to take us out to Lake Evergreen for a picnic dinner. Lake Evergreen is special to us because it is where we held Braelyn's funeral. We like to go out there on special occasions to make it feel like Braelyn is a part of what we are celebrating. And yesterday, she was a very important part because she is the one who first made me a mama. This was Cole's first time out to our special spot at the lake too. He smiled and laughed the whole time! It was perfect.
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| Cole's first time to Braelyn's spot at the lake |
I am so lucky to have Cole! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for him. I feel so blessed to have had the experience with Braelyn because I know for a fact that I appreciate Cole even more than ever. Yesterday it was fun to be celebrated as a mom, but to me, every day is Mother's Day because I LOVE taking care of Cole.
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| Can't forget my fur baby. He went along to the lake with us and was a giant pain, but I love him anyway! |
Friday, May 4, 2012
Animal House
I have always LOVED animals. Growing up I had several pets. That was one perk of living in the country. Not only did I have pets, but I would rescue other animals around our property. If my parents trapped a mouse on sticky paper, I would pry him off and let him go out in the woods behind the house. I know, you are probably disgusted by that, but I seriously have a soft heart for all things with 4 legs.
Even into adulthood I have had several pets. Recently, we have had to downsize our furry family. It's been very hard emotionally to do this. One of my very good friends adopted our two black cats. I have had them since they were kittens and I love both of them dearly. However, they are cats that demand a lot of attention and they were constantly in Cole's face when we brought him home. They didn't understand boundaries around the baby. And it was not because they were being mean, they just wanted to love on him. It broke my heart to have to make the decision to give them up, but I knew deep down it was the right decision. It was not fair for me to keep pushing them away when I was holding the baby. They just wanted to cuddle. I know the home they went to is soooo good for them! They are getting the love and attention that they deserve to have. I hope to be able to go and see them sometime soon because I really do miss them. But it's great to be able to get updates each week from my friend!
Matt and I have also had a pet ferret, named Sid, for the last six years. Six years is a very long time for a ferret to live. This week we had to make the hard decision to put him to sleep. He has displayed some behavioral and physical changes over the last few months, but he wasn't dying by any means. The other night I noticed he was struggling to breathe. We took him to the emergency vet and they told us that he was experiencing heart failure. They said there really wasn't anything we could do to help him and the most humane thing to do was to not let him suffer. I really didn't expect that the end would come that fast! Sid was a funny little guy who brought us lots of laughs over the years. I will miss watching him and Ritz wrestle around and his friendly little personality.
We are now down to one cat and one dog in this household. Fluffy (who is currently not so fluffy...she got a haircut last week) just got declawed this week. I'm pretty sure she hates us because of all of the traumatic events that have unfolded for her in the last two weeks. But she won't be scratching anything, and she looks beautiful with her new haircut! And of course there is Ritz... he is always such a good dog! I truly consider Ritz one of my babies. He's a mama's boy for sure and loves to snuggle while we sit on the couch. He has handled Cole coming home very well. He loves to listen to Cole when he "talks" and gives him lots of kisses. Ritz has been very good about not playing with Cole's toys, as tempting as it is for him. Overall, the adjustment for him has gone smoother than I thought it would.
I hope that Cole grows up to love animals as much as his daddy and I do. So far he loves to watch Ritz and Fluffy when they get close to him. Ritz better watch out, because Cole is getting close to being able to grab his ears!!
Even into adulthood I have had several pets. Recently, we have had to downsize our furry family. It's been very hard emotionally to do this. One of my very good friends adopted our two black cats. I have had them since they were kittens and I love both of them dearly. However, they are cats that demand a lot of attention and they were constantly in Cole's face when we brought him home. They didn't understand boundaries around the baby. And it was not because they were being mean, they just wanted to love on him. It broke my heart to have to make the decision to give them up, but I knew deep down it was the right decision. It was not fair for me to keep pushing them away when I was holding the baby. They just wanted to cuddle. I know the home they went to is soooo good for them! They are getting the love and attention that they deserve to have. I hope to be able to go and see them sometime soon because I really do miss them. But it's great to be able to get updates each week from my friend!
Matt and I have also had a pet ferret, named Sid, for the last six years. Six years is a very long time for a ferret to live. This week we had to make the hard decision to put him to sleep. He has displayed some behavioral and physical changes over the last few months, but he wasn't dying by any means. The other night I noticed he was struggling to breathe. We took him to the emergency vet and they told us that he was experiencing heart failure. They said there really wasn't anything we could do to help him and the most humane thing to do was to not let him suffer. I really didn't expect that the end would come that fast! Sid was a funny little guy who brought us lots of laughs over the years. I will miss watching him and Ritz wrestle around and his friendly little personality.
We are now down to one cat and one dog in this household. Fluffy (who is currently not so fluffy...she got a haircut last week) just got declawed this week. I'm pretty sure she hates us because of all of the traumatic events that have unfolded for her in the last two weeks. But she won't be scratching anything, and she looks beautiful with her new haircut! And of course there is Ritz... he is always such a good dog! I truly consider Ritz one of my babies. He's a mama's boy for sure and loves to snuggle while we sit on the couch. He has handled Cole coming home very well. He loves to listen to Cole when he "talks" and gives him lots of kisses. Ritz has been very good about not playing with Cole's toys, as tempting as it is for him. Overall, the adjustment for him has gone smoother than I thought it would.
I hope that Cole grows up to love animals as much as his daddy and I do. So far he loves to watch Ritz and Fluffy when they get close to him. Ritz better watch out, because Cole is getting close to being able to grab his ears!!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
National Infertility Awareness Week
On this day, one year ago, I got some awesome news! I found out that I was expecting again. That day my world seemed to get a little bit better. After losing our precious baby and facing the infertility battle once again I wasn't sure I would ever hear those words again. I was already so in love with the precious little embryo that was beginning to grow. Today, a year later, I can't even describe the amount of love that I have for my sweet baby boy. I truly feel like my life was incomplete before I had him. I'm so blessed. God is good and he has given me the best gift possible.
Appropriately, this week is National Infertility Awareness week. After thousands of dollars spent on medication and procedures, a few IUI's, 3 IVF's, the loss of a baby girl, and a complicated and high-risk pregnancy, all over the last 3 years, we were finally blessed with Cole. The Hell we lived through pales in comparison to the joy our hearts are now filled with. But the long, and painful journey to have a baby is being experienced by so many others. I feel that I was chosen to survive the infertility journey so that I could be a positive advocate for others going through the same things. It's a lonely world and many times it's taboo to talk about what you are feeling. I want society to realize that it's not our fault that we can't conceive naturally. Don't judge us either! It's not like we lived an alternative lifestyle that resulted in us not being able to have a child. We are not diseased and filthy. We did not choose this, nor would we wish it on our worse enemy. And, we should not have to be quiet throughout the process.
If you have a few minutes, take a look at the links below. Infertility happens to more people than you would think. About 7.3 million people, or 1 in 8 couples experience some type of hardship in trying to have a baby. Also, so many couples that face the physical complications of getting pregnant are also forced to face heavy financial implications. Infertility treatment is very expensive. Only a handful of states have mandated that insurance companies help pay (and yes, I said help...not fully cover) for treatment. Luckily, I live in IL and I had wonderful insurance. But, we still paid several thousand dollars when it was all said and done. For young couples, the financial costs are daunting. It's not like we'd ever say any amount of money was worth more than having a child, but it's so scary to think how much debt you can accumulate during the process.
Most people think they don't know anyone going through infertility treatments, but I think if people talked about it more everyone would be surprised to find out that they probably do know someone in that position. I'm asking that you take time to educate yourself about this important topic. Your education about the subject can mean the world to someone who is encountering this difficult time in their life. If you know someone who is being treated and you are not sure how to talk to them or what to say, feel free to ask me. I am a pretty open book and I would be happy to help you talk to your friend/family member in a non-offensive and supportive way.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post today. This is a topic that I will always feel passionate about. After all, how else do you think I was able to hold my precious little Cole in my arms this morning and melt when he smiled at me?
http://tearsandhope.com/
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html
Appropriately, this week is National Infertility Awareness week. After thousands of dollars spent on medication and procedures, a few IUI's, 3 IVF's, the loss of a baby girl, and a complicated and high-risk pregnancy, all over the last 3 years, we were finally blessed with Cole. The Hell we lived through pales in comparison to the joy our hearts are now filled with. But the long, and painful journey to have a baby is being experienced by so many others. I feel that I was chosen to survive the infertility journey so that I could be a positive advocate for others going through the same things. It's a lonely world and many times it's taboo to talk about what you are feeling. I want society to realize that it's not our fault that we can't conceive naturally. Don't judge us either! It's not like we lived an alternative lifestyle that resulted in us not being able to have a child. We are not diseased and filthy. We did not choose this, nor would we wish it on our worse enemy. And, we should not have to be quiet throughout the process.
If you have a few minutes, take a look at the links below. Infertility happens to more people than you would think. About 7.3 million people, or 1 in 8 couples experience some type of hardship in trying to have a baby. Also, so many couples that face the physical complications of getting pregnant are also forced to face heavy financial implications. Infertility treatment is very expensive. Only a handful of states have mandated that insurance companies help pay (and yes, I said help...not fully cover) for treatment. Luckily, I live in IL and I had wonderful insurance. But, we still paid several thousand dollars when it was all said and done. For young couples, the financial costs are daunting. It's not like we'd ever say any amount of money was worth more than having a child, but it's so scary to think how much debt you can accumulate during the process.
Most people think they don't know anyone going through infertility treatments, but I think if people talked about it more everyone would be surprised to find out that they probably do know someone in that position. I'm asking that you take time to educate yourself about this important topic. Your education about the subject can mean the world to someone who is encountering this difficult time in their life. If you know someone who is being treated and you are not sure how to talk to them or what to say, feel free to ask me. I am a pretty open book and I would be happy to help you talk to your friend/family member in a non-offensive and supportive way.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post today. This is a topic that I will always feel passionate about. After all, how else do you think I was able to hold my precious little Cole in my arms this morning and melt when he smiled at me?
http://tearsandhope.com/
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Bed Time Yet?
My day has seemed like one long run-on sentence!
Get up, shower, get dressed, pack bags for the day, eat breakfast, get baby up and ready (change his outfit 3 times...), take baby to daycare, drive to work, meetings all morning and walking to medical to pump three times, come home at lunch to check on hubs and fix him lunch since he just had wrist surgery, more meetings all afternoon, leave work late, pick up baby, run an errand for hubby, get home, wash all pump supplies, unpack bags from the day, get bottles ready for tomorrow, mow the lawn, take care of baby, check on hubs, eat dinner.
Is it time for bed yet??
Get up, shower, get dressed, pack bags for the day, eat breakfast, get baby up and ready (change his outfit 3 times...), take baby to daycare, drive to work, meetings all morning and walking to medical to pump three times, come home at lunch to check on hubs and fix him lunch since he just had wrist surgery, more meetings all afternoon, leave work late, pick up baby, run an errand for hubby, get home, wash all pump supplies, unpack bags from the day, get bottles ready for tomorrow, mow the lawn, take care of baby, check on hubs, eat dinner.
Is it time for bed yet??
Monday, April 16, 2012
Sleep Baby Sleep
I'm pretty sure Cole is the world's worst sleeper! This mama is exhausted!! I have not had more than 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep in almost 4 months (even longer if you count the time I was as big as a whale and couldn't get comfy). I feel like I'm holding it together pretty well for being so tired all of the time. But some days I wonder how I even made it to work with my hair done and make-up on...let alone drove there. I swear some days I park in the parking garage and I don't remember even driving...that can't be good, can it?
I'm seriously convinced that Cole hates to sleep. He chooses to only take catnaps...maybe a 30 min stretch if we are lucky. And he does not go down to bed easy either. Just this week he has started screaming and shrieking when I put him down. He continues it until I go back in and he can see me. Then he just grins from ear to ear. As frustrating as it is that he will not go to sleep, I love the fact that as soon as he sees me he knows he can smile and melt my heart. That little stinker!
He has a lullaby music that we play for him each time we put him to bed. The funny thing is that sometimes at work I catch myself humming it and wishing I could take a nap. I think the music affects me way more than it does him. He has gotten good at drowning it out with his screams.
He is finally sleeping right now...so I think I'd better take advantage and go and get my 45 min of sleep before the kid wants to eat again. :o) Are there any other tired mama's out there? Any advice on how to get the little ones to like sleep better? I'm not a big fan of the cry-it-out method though. Not judging anyone who does it, it's just not for me!
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