Inspiration

The fabric that I ordered has been arriving in small packages all week to my doorstep.  It's been like Christmas when I come home and get to open them up.  I have received several monetary donations that I have used to purchase fabric...20 yards of fabric to be exact!  The patterns and colors that I chose are just perfect for these teeny diapers.  I have spent the last few days cutting the fabric and now I have a nice fat stack of diapers that just need to be sewn.   I sense a "sewing party" coming up...anybody up for that?  I do have the ambition to sew some of the diapers myself, but with as many as I think we can make I will need to outsource some of the sewing :)

Sitting at the kitchen table cutting fabric has given me a lot of time to think.  I am so grateful that I have so many friends and family members who are willing to help me with this cause.  We are so blessed to have such great support in our lives.  Before I had Braelyn, I didn't spend much time thinking about how I could be inspirational to others.  I always tried to do good for others and support causes that were close to my friends hearts, but I never felt like I did anything that could be truly inspirational to others. I can't help but to think that maybe part of the reason for Braelyn's short life was to show me that I can inspire others I encounter in my life.  It's also taught me there are many people in worse situations than what happened to me.  We can all make a difference in others lives if we put forth the effort.  It may be something you deem as a small act, but to someone it could be the act that changes their lives in the moment.  

With all of the fabric that I have, I figure we can make about 200 diapers (give or take a few).  Since each family gets two diapers- one for the baby to wear and one as a keepsake- we can help about 100 families.  This is incredible for me to think about.  I know that when a family gets these diapers, it's because their baby has mostly likely passed away, but it brings me comfort to know that we are showing them love in those precious moments that they have with their child.  Even if they don't see the love in that moment, I think they will be able to look back upon it and realize that there are people out there that care. 

I want to share a story with you all about the day Braelyn was born and died.  I thought twice about sharing this story because I don't want to sound ungrateful at all, so I hope I can type this in a way that explains my feelings that day.  When Braelyn was born we got to spend time in the NICU with her.  Matt spent most of the day there while I was recovering.  She lived for 12 hours, but most people don't know that I really only got to spend about 2-3 hours total with her.  Once we decided that we would take her off of life support we were allowed to hold her and talk to her.  I am so thankful for that short amount of time that she spent in our arms.  She died in our hands, and not laying by herself in an isolette.   After she passed away there were quite a few logistical items that we had to take care of.  In the mix of all of this we were asked if we wanted to put a dress on her and have pictures taken.  Honestly, I didn't really want pictures of her after she had passed away, but something in the back of our minds told us to do it in case we wanted them later.  It would be easy to have them and never look at them instead of not having them and not ever being able to take them later.  The nurse brought in the dress--- It was this frilly, lacy, pink and white dress that was completely not something we would ever have chosen to dress our baby in.  This is the part I want to be clear about:  I am so grateful for the people who made this dress.  I know the skill and love that was put into it was immense.  And for that I'm appreciative.  However, this dress was not what I had in mind for my baby to be dressed in.  I felt so bad that it was the only outfit she would ever wear.  I wished that I had something else to put her in at that moment, but she was so tiny I didn't have a choice.  I will admit that this dress was the single source of laughter shared between Matt and I that day.  It was so ridiculous that we could not stop laughing and telling Braelyn how sorry we were to dress her in this frilly dress through all of our tears.  So even though we did not like the dress, I'm thankful for the moment of laughter that day. 

That story is the reason that I am so passionate this year about making the teeny diapers.  I want parents to be able to choose something that fits their style to dress their child in.  When I saw these tiny diapers I so wished I would have been given one to put on Braelyn.  They are simple, yet the patterns on the fabric is what makes each diaper unique.

Ok, enough rambling tonight.  I am very excited about all of these diapers!  Thank you all for the fabric, money, finished diapers, cutting time, and all the support to make this happen.  You should all be so proud of yourselves!

One last tip...if you are making diapers to give to me please make two diapers out of the same fabric to package together.  Each family will receive 2 diapers-- one for the baby to wear and one for the parents to keep. Also, I will do all of the packaging before I deliver them.  If you have any other questions please let me know!