Down to the Wire...Or String

Well, let me first say I'm still pregnant and my cervix is still at a very normal length.  I'll hit 36 weeks on Tuesday!!  It's amazing to have made it this far and to know that whenever baby boy decides to be born he will do great and thrive.  I was only joking about being down to the string that's holding him in.  But we are getting down to the wire time wise.  I will get my stitch cut on 9/3.  That's only 10 days away...but who's counting?

A few weeks ago my mom went to my appointment with me and we asked my Nurse Practitioner what her thoughts were on a cervix being more likely to be incompetent with an IVF pregnancy versus a natural pregnancy.  We were curious because I did IVF with Braelyn and Cole and both of those pregnancies I definitely had cervical issues.  But this time around, with it being a natural pregnancy, I haven't had too many problems, and my length has stayed long for the most part.  The only real scare we had was around 20ish weeks when I noticed some changes and went in to the doctor and my cervix was funneling open and definitely getting shorter.  I also had some sort of virus at the time (thanks for that Cole man) that we thought could have caused it.  My nurse said that she truly believes that I have an incompetent cervix even though I've been lucky this time around.  She said that at the 20ish week mark when I had funneling if I hadn't had my cerclage she thinks that I would have been in danger to have the baby early.  Now at the time, she didn't show me at all that she was worried...she has a very good poker face, and I'm glad about that.  She is always real with me, but I don't think she wanted me to worry until we knew more.  I went home and sat without getting up for a few weeks and it all went back to normal.  Not that it matters now, because after baby brother arrives I am never having another pregnancy, but it was good to know that I really did have an incompetent cervix and that there are medical advances this day in age that can help me to carry a baby to full term.  I feel so lucky and blessed to almost have 2 healthy baby boys here with me.

This week at my appointment we had quite a scare.  Most of the pregnancy has been uneventful, so I think baby boy just wanted to make sure we were still paying attention to him.  As if being monitored twice a week isn't enough...   Anyway, they did a sono and the first thing she checked was his heart rate.  The first measurement came back at 186 bpm.  That's very high.  The second reading was all the way down to the 130's.  That's more normal, but a huge jump.  The next few measurements varied greatly as well.  I could tell that she was very nervous about this and I know from all of my experiences that it wasn't right.  She quickly did the rest of the measurements and such and took us to a room immediately instead of making us go back out in the waiting room. Surprisingly I stayed pretty calm.  They brought in the Non-Stress Test machine and hooked me up.  For about 30 minutes his heart rate was bouncing between the 130's and the 190's.  He was moving like crazy and we couldn't figure out what was going on.  I forgot to mention that he still has the cord around his neck, but she checked the cord pressure and it was perfect.  I wasn't too worried it was being caused by the cord but I also wasn't sure what was going on.  As soon as our nurse left the room to go talk to my Nurse Practitioner about the fluctuations we could see on the monitor that he evened out in the 140's and was steady there for 20 minutes.  He basically fell asleep and his heart rate was perfect.  Our doctor came in to talk to us and he said he really was not worried about this.  He said we have a "super baby" and he was just moving so much that he was accelerating rapidly.  He said it's okay and we know he is fine because he went to sleep and evened out.  They told me that if over the weekend I wasn't feeling him move much to call them immediately but other than that they would see me back on Monday.

I haven't been feeling him move as crazy as he was yesterday, but he is still moving enough that I'm not worried.  And every time I push on him he kicks me back.  I am thinking that he is starting to drop a bit b/c I'm feeling his movement lower and lower and I can breathe a bit easier too.  I need him to keep cooking for another week and then I'll be ready to welcome him!  I try not to complain too much about being pregnant because it is truly a blessing to me after all of the years of trying and also losing a child. But I am only human...and there are times where my back hurts and my hips hurt and I feel huge.  It's hard work carrying 30+ extra pounds around (yes, I used the +...but I'm not disclosing the actual weight gain).  I know it'll all melt away once I get to nursing this baby but some days are harder than others to get around.  Especially because I've been sitting for the most part.  When I do get up and move I'm actually pretty sore the next day :)  I had to take Cole to the doctor today because he was sick and his pediatrician said to me first thing..."You look great.  Your face looks good for being so pregnant."  I think that was a compliment that I don't look fat....but I don't really know.  I just said thanks!  LOL.  Cole may have a sinus infection and we had to get him better from that before the baby comes because I can tell you one thing, I'm NOT doing the RSV thing this time around with baby brother.  He can be just like Cole in a lot of ways, but not with that nasty sickness so young.

So yeah, all in all, things are cruising right along.  I'm feeling pretty good and the baby is measuring great.  I feel like I have a lot of small loose ends to tie up at work and home before I'm actually ready for him to arrive, but I should be able to get a lot of that done next week.  Then maybe I can relax after I get my stitch cut and just wait on him to come.

Cole Man is doing great!  Other than his little sickness he's got going on right now.  He's growing (well a little anyway), talking up a storm, and just plain being Mr. Funny Man.  His personality cracks me up.  He is such a joy to be around and I love him to death.  I just keep thinking that soon I'll get to love on two little boys and my heart will be so full.  I thank God every day for the blessings that He has given to us and also for the lessons I've learned along the way.  It hasn't been an easy road to get here, but come September my family will be complete after years of wishing for this.  If anyone is still reading my blog and sending prayers for us I wanted to say thanks again.  If it were not for all of the prayers going up often we would not be where we are today.  I truly appreciate it.

I'll leave you with a few pictures that we've taken recently for fun.

We spent a lot of time at the pool this summer.

Mama and her boys!

We went to the zoo and I made Matt push me in a wheelchair so I didn't have to walk much.
Well, Cole told me to "move" so he could ride in it.  LOL. 

Messy face

Always having a blast at Grandma and Grandpa's house

Big ol' belly

Love this one

Finally a family picture for the first time in a few years!

34 Weeks

Today marks 34 weeks pregnant!! Woo Hoo.  This was my last big milestone to hit and it feels surreal that it's already here.   At 34 weeks babies are tiny but if they were to be born would be fairly healthy and maybe even not need NICU time.  However, 34 was a big goal for me because it means that if I go into labor he's big enough to be delivered here in Bloomington and they will not send me over to Peoria where there is a NICU immediately.

3 weeks from today is when I get my cerclage cut.  That means that 3 weeks from today I could *possibly* have my baby boy in my arms.  That is if he decides to fall right out once the stitch is removed.  He is measuring to be a bigger baby, so maybe that'll be the case.  But it's always amazing to me how we spend all this time trying to hold a baby in and then when they are allowed to come they take their sweet time.  Either way, we are so very close to meeting this precious baby and I am so excited.

Now I just have to keep busy the next few weeks so the time keeps going fast! :)

Words of Wisdom for Moms of Angels

I found this article posted on Facebook.  I really liked what it had to say.  Especially the last paragraph.  

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of angel babies are chosen?

This entry was posted on July 25, 2013.

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her an angel baby.”

God’s angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a one of my precious angels to a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.”

“But does she have the patience to endure such hardship?” asks the angel.

“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in the mother of an angel. You see, the child I’m going to give her lives in a world of its own. She will have to realize it lives in another world, and that’s not going to be easy.”

“But Lord, I don’t think she even can live through this.”

God smiles. “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect.

She has just the right amount of selfishness.”

The angel gasps, “Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?”

God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from her angel baby occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with an angel less than perfect. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word from anyone. She will never consider a minor step ordinary. She will never hear her angel say ‘mama’ for the first time, she will never be a witness to that miracle. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

Adapted from Erma Bombeck by Beth Hawkins

http://4thischildweprayed.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/did-you-ever-wonder-how-the-mothers-of-angel-babies-are-chosen/

33 Weeks and Counting...

I am still here...just keeping really busy with work and Cole.  Not much new to report this week, which is a good thing.  I'm down to 28 days until I get my stitch cut!  I hit 33 weeks pregnant today!!  I absolutely can't wait for this little guy to arrive.  It seems like the entire summer has gone fast, but now that I'm anticipating him joining our family so soon the time is dragging.  I need the next few weeks to pick up speed!

Cole has been a lot of fun this summer.  He loves doing anything outside...going to the park, swimming, running around, the slides, throwing a ball...you name it, he loves it.  He is starting to talk a lot more too and that's so much fun to listen to his thoughts.  He is very opinionated (wonder where he gets that from).  He loves all animals and frequently refers to them as "baby" when he sees them...maybe I call Ritz "baby" too much? :)  He is going to be a great big brother.  He is very good at following directions and helping out when I can't bend over to get something.  He's obsessed with cookies and cheerios (he calls them chee yo's and it's sooo cute, except for when he says it 4700 times in a car ride across town).  I just can't believe he's 19 months old already.  He is truly the light of my life and I can't imagine it any other way.

I am so blessed to almost have 2 little boys here and healthy.  I will never forget how incredibly lucky I am after all we've gone through to have these little guys.  Even though my patience wears thin some days, I hope they both know just how special they are to me.  I don't want to take any moment with them for granted because I know all too well how quickly things can change.  So when I don't update my blog you can remember that I'm living life big with my buddy (soon to be buddies).

Just for fun, here is a picture below comparing my pregnancies.  I am 32 weeks pregnant in both pictures.  The one on the left is Cole, the one on the right is Baby Brother.  Notice that I'm HUGE this time around compared to being pregnant with Cole :)  Oh well...the weight will come off later, I just want the healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy!

No News is Good News

I'm still here...nothing much has changed, so I haven't had a whole lot to report on.  I have still been going to the doctor 2 times a week and baby boy is still cooking.  On Tuesday I'll be 32 weeks.  That's only 2 weeks away from the final goal I set for myself at the beginning of my pregnancy.  It seemed like 34 weeks would never arrive...but now, it's just around the corner!  Of course, I really want to make it to 37 weeks, but that's only an extra 3 weeks-- no sweat!  I got this.

I'm at the point where I am getting really excited to meet this baby.  I am thinking back to every detail of the day Cole was born and feeling so blessed to get to experience a day like that again with this baby.  I just know I'll remember every little detail.  I can't wait to see Cole's reaction to the baby and see what a good big brother he is going to be.  Every time I ask him where baby is he runs over and puts his face against my belly and yells "Hello Bayyybee".  It's so stinking cute!  I can't wait to have 2 little boys running around in this house.  I can just imagine all of the fun times ahead of us.

I haven't posted much on here about Braelyn lately, but I do still think about her every day.  It's hard some days to watch Cole and think about what she would be doing.  Our household would be so opposite of what it is now.  We have trucks, cars, and balls...what would we be doing with baby dolls, bows, and all things pink?  I guess we will never get to experience what having a little girl is like.  It does make me sad on some levels, but I don't like to dwell on it.  I was blessed with 2 little boys-- and I can't complain one bit about that.  I just want to keep them healthy and happy.  Someday we will all be together as a family of 5 again....

Hope everyone is having a good summer!  I hate to wish the rest of mine away...but hurry up Fall! :)

Counting Down!

Just for fun, I thought I would do a countdown until this baby *could* possibly arrive.  I will get my cerclage cut at 37 weeks and my doctor has said his prediction is that the baby will choose to push his way out very soon after that happens.  When I start thinking about this countdown it seems so close to being able to finally meet this little guy.  I have several things on my to do list that I need to get done in the meantime...and I'm hoping that my list makes the time go even faster!

I can't wait to be a complete family after all these years of trying to get to this point.  I want to live life again and be happy without any stress of infertility or pregnancy.  I want to be able to do things with my boys and just truly enjoy the time that we are given together.  I can't wait to see Cole as a big brother, and I can't wait to see what the little mister's personality is too.  There is just so much to look forward to!

And the countdown to 37 weeks begins NOW:

1- baby book to get started

3- more craft projects to finish up for his room

5- more shots of Makena

6- more weekly photos

6- more sonograms

12- more doctor appointments

32- more work days

180- more dollars to pay for appointments

1,128- more hours on the couch (well for the most part)

1,500- more times of getting up off the couch to let Ritz in and out of the house...did I mention that dog is annoying?

I spent part of this week calling to take care of all of the registration type things you have to do pre-baby.  I called our health insurance to let them know I was pregnant and due in September to avoid the fines they give if you don't (funny b/c you would think they would already know considering I've had about 20 ultrasounds at this point).  I called to take care of requesting my leave of absence at work.  I called the hospital to pre-register.  It felt good to take care of all of those annoying details that you definitely don't want to do during labor.

I've also gotten a strong urge to start nesting.  I made myself a crazy list of everything I want to get done (when I'm allowed to get up and do it).  I swear my house needs a nice deep cleaning before this little guy comes home, but I'm not sure I'll be able to get that done so I made a shorter list of all of the little things I can gradually do.  Along with the organizing I have been in a mode to clear out all of the junk in our house.  I have a HUGE garage sale pile started in my basement for next spring when I can get around to actually having a sale.

All in all, I'm ready for this little guy to get here.  I am much more relaxed this time around and definitely have less anxiety about the whole process.  I am starting to picture the moment I get to meet him and it makes me remember back to when I first saw Cole (which is hard to believe that was already 19 months ago).  I am looking forward to spending the first few days with him at the hospital getting to know him before we bring him home to his new life.  I can't wait to introduce him to our families, especially Cole.  Cole is so gentle with babies.  I think he will do a great job.  When I ask Cole now what's in my belly he replies "bayyybeee".   It's so cute!

Well, it sure won't be long now.  I'm just praying everything continues to go as well as it has this entire time.  I'm so shocked at how different this pregnancy has been from my first two.  It's like I don't even have any complications...almost every single appointment has been great, and I feel good too.

Ok, well enough writing...back to my list of things to do :)

Giant Baby

I had another doctor appointment today, and overall it went really well.  My cervix is continuing to hold tight and keep this baby in, which is awesome news!  Especially because even though I do try to sit most of the time it's hard with an 18 month old running around.  His heart rate was great and he got himself out of the cord tangle again.  I swear he's a little Houdini!

The thing that surprised us was how much this little guy is growing.  Apparently he is going to be way bigger than Cole Man was.  I am 29 weeks 2 days right now, and he is measuring 30 weeks 5 days.  So about a week and a half ahead of schedule.  They told us that he is estimated to weigh 3 lb 10 oz today!!  Usually they say they want babies to be 4 lb by 32 weeks, so as you can see this dude is growing like a weed.  I do really think I can make it to 37 weeks pregnant, but there's always that chance that I could go into pre-term labor, so I am not complaining that he's going to be a bigger baby than Cole.  One interesting observation that we discussed with my doctor's office was that Cole was an IVF baby and this one is all natural...I have seen some studies floating around online that indicate IVF babies may be smaller because of how they were conceived.  Not sure if there is truth to it or not.  And really, it's not like I expect both of my boys to be exactly the same.  It will be fun to see their differences.  My nurse practitioner also said that at 37 weeks when they cut my stitch she would not be surprised at all if this baby decides he is not going to stay in there any longer.  I absolutely can't wait.  I don't wish him to be here before 37 weeks...but I am getting really antsy to meet him and move on with the fun parts of life again!

I've had a countdown going the entire pregnancy...but we are down to just about 7 weeks until I get my stitch cut!  I can't believe how fast the time is going.  I planned out the rest of my doctor appointments through the middle of August.  I couldn't believe we were already to August!  I get my stitch cut on or around September 3...and that's going to be here before we know it!  Oh and by the way, since not everything can go smoothly with a Corbin pregnancy...my fluid levels are a bit on the low side, so we will continue going to the doctor twice a week.  One appointment we will do a non-stress test and the next we will do a sono/cervical check.  Fun times!

Thanks for still checking in on my blog to see how the baby is doing!  I can't wait until he's here and I can introduce him to everyone!

A little squished...but cute anyway!

My other little cutie!