When I first found out I was pregnant I admit I wondered how I could love another little human as much as I love Cole. I can also tell you that it didn't take long before I fell in love with this 2nd boy. I know some mom's say once they see their second/third child for the first time the same love is instantly there. But I already know that I have the exact same amount of love for each of my children and I can't wait to see my baby boy for the first time!
I also felt kind of bad for my youngest child because during my pregnancy with Cole I talked about how he was such a miracle child. I mean after all, he was an IVF success, a cervical cerclage success, and a child born after a devastating loss. You can't get much more miracle packed in there if you tried. I wrote all about how blessed we were to have Cole in journals before he was born and even on my blog. I worried that some day my youngest child would read these entries and wonder if we thought he was a miracle baby too. Well, he did not want to be outdone. He is our miracle in another sense. After going through years of fertility treatments he was a complete surprise baby. I can't even explain how shocking it was to confirm I was pregnant without using drugs and having surgical procedures done to me. If we make it to full term (we've already made it to viability) then he will be another cervical cerclage success story. Then most recently this baby boy decided he wanted to get some extra attention, so he wrapped the cord around his neck two times around. Talk about being worried and wondering if he would get out of the mess safely. I think he just wanted to make sure we were paying attention to him. It's fun to think about how both of my kids are true miracles and blessings from above.
I've been thinking quite a bit about how I never want my boys to think that one of them is more special to me than the other. I know it's impossible to do everything exactly the same for both kids, nor is that always practical, but I do promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure they both feel equally loved. When I was pregnant with Cole I kept a journal of all of the details....the appointments, his growth and development, setting up the nursery, my thoughts and dreams for his future. Then as he has grown over the last 17 months I've continued to journal about everything he's done. I decided that I would do the same thing for Baby Brother. I want them to both have these special memories to look back upon one day. Maybe they will not appreciate the thought and love that went into them until they are becoming dad's themselves...but one day I know they will think these are nice to have.
We have been setting up Baby Brother's nursery too in the last couple of weeks. Once it's done I will post some pictures, but I want to put the finishing touches on it first. As I've been getting his room ready I've been thinking about what things I will need to get for him that he can't share with Cole. I started thinking about the special things that Cole has. He has a couple of things that he sleeps with in his crib and I wanted Baby Brother to have the same type of items. I also wanted Baby Brother to have the same baby book, so I ordered one of those and have started to write in it. I got a special coming home outfit for the baby too. I mean after all, he has a TON of hand me down clothes from Cole and his cousin Kamden, so he has to have a few new things, right?
I hope that in the future I do a good job of showing my boys that I care about them the exact same. I know that things may not always be fair, and one kid may have something that the other doesn't, and they will have different experiences...but I want them to grow up knowing that their dad and I supported, loved and respected them the same way.
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On a side note-- we had another doctor appointment today. I'm 25.5 weeks along. We were just double checking to see if the cord was really off of the baby's neck. The good news is that he is completely free of the cord. He was moving fine and his heart rate was perfect. My cervix is still measuring really long too, which is a relief. When we were sitting in the room waiting for my doctor to come talk to us we got really annoyed b/c we had to wait for over 35 minutes. We normally see the nurse practitioner and sometimes she gets behind, but we've never waited this long. Our doctor finally came in and apologized for running behind. In a very nonchalant way he mentioned he had to run over to the hospital and deliver a baby really quick. What a cool job! I know he has done it so many times it's just another day to him, but it really made me smile to think that he ran over delivered a baby and then rushed back over to finish up his appointments for the day.
We were talking to him about how the baby got the cord off of his neck and how we were really glad to not have to worry about that anymore. He told us a story about one time when he was doing an ultrasound on a lady her baby's heart rate started to plummet. He said it got all the way down to like 10 beats per minute or something like that. He said he was even starting to freak out bc he had no idea what was wrong with the baby. He said then all of a sudden the heart rate went right back to normal. He continued to look around to see what the problem could be and while he was doing that the exact same thing happened again. He said he was pretty frantic at this point...jokingly he said he was looking around for a pocket knife to cut this lady open and deliver her baby right there in the ultrasound room...but he kept looking for the problem. All of a sudden he said he could see the baby was squeezing the umbilical cord with his hand and basically passing out from lack of blood flow. Then as he would pass out his heart rate would go back to normal. Talk about an adrenaline junky baby!!! HAHA. Can you imagine? I don't think I'd be able to sleep until September if we saw Baby Brother pull something like that. So for now I'm counting my blessings that he "just" had the cord around his neck twice and isn't making himself pass out several times per day. Or maybe he is and we just don't know...hmmmm...
Anyways, on to week 26 we go!
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